From Was to Is.

With the sleepless nights, I found peace.

As i watch the stars and lie down on the grass,

There I saw one glaze,

And that is seeing what I was.

Turning my back from the past,

And moving forward with my life,

Writing this theme of poem should be my last,

It's like letting go of a kid's kite.

Goodbye as they call it.

But for me it's a hello.

Greeting my new path

Learning once more how to laugh.

Forget the times I cried,

See the future saying "Hi."

Leave the past that was lied,

And let someone new give it a try.

That someone who is worth a try,

Who could be the one you'll soon call "mine."

Who will never leave your side,

With his love for you as strong as tides.

Happy Day for me

What I learned today.

Standing up and facing life. It goes on like river flows. 

This has been my motto for the past few months after I had my first heartbreak.

Afterwards, it, my romantic side has been planted like seeds underneath because it's been waiting for something to further grow. I believe that life isn't as complicated as it is for my perspective. I think that people makes it complicated. If you want to do something, better say it now or leave it unspoken and fading till forever. What has been happening now is as extraordinary as every girl wants-- to be treasured like a princess. 

My life is simple. Simple as I think I am inside. 

Its complexity comes out every time I face God's trials for me. 

One day, I wake up with my longing heart. Expecting a miracle that I might share this sweetness of me with the rightful one. And I hope one day also, I could meet my Four ❤️ 

Love comes unexpectedly so as I met this guy. 

Lets call him Dimps.

He's cool, smart, sophisticated and physics nerd. 

I dunno why but Physics has not been my type ever since HS. But he loves Physics as much as I hate it. Hahaha Friction VS Force 👍

I have confessions to make.

Ever since I've been feeling special with him, life feels like great.

Like you have your best friend with you as your ahya, your classmate, your adviser or even a tutor. I actually been feeling special lately but I don't like to confront him on what we really are. What are we doing and where would this lead to.

I am not sure of what I feel for him.

He's also my best friend and my special someone.

Special in a sense that he treats me well and so as I do to him.

It's not of a returning a favor but letting him feel that on what I am feeling, he puts smile on my face 😋

Whenever I'm with him, it feels like Love has been much more extraordinary.

Love is not just to the extent of romantic love alone, but it comes with friendship and sacrifice and hope. I don't wanna be rude but, when I met him, I just got from a confrontation of the guy I was formerly dating. But this guy hasn't accepted yet the fact that it is over. But apart from that reason is Dimps. Maybe I found comfort and compatibility among our interests with him and not to the guy I used to date. I hope one day he'll find someone who he could share his life with. 

Every time I bond with Dimps, I feel like he's going to be one of my closest friend. And maybe in God's will, he could be the one. He supports me in any possible way. He laughs with me, jogs with me and even play Monopoly deal with me during my breaks. 

What I appreciate the most is the fact that he travels down South in order to, uhmm maybe see me? Haha! Sometimes I'll wake up with a message of "ATC later?" Or "tara let's bond. I'm on my way there. Meet you at Times" it doesn't creep me out. It actually is sweet as candy haha 😆. Thank God I always have time to meet him.

Compensation and Cooperation.

Mutualism and Effort.

Maybe that are the ingredients of a happy relationship.

Relationship that friends could have and also as lovers.

Things might be dull, dark and unfair as we look from our past actions,

But with an enlightenment and as we seek courage to get through trials,

I know that there is no way we won't able to survive it. 

Life is complicated, but not God's trials.

He is full of trust and really believes in us.

By any chance, I'd like to thank God for sending 

him to me because with him I am not just Paula,

I am everyday a better version of me. :)

What Yoga Made Me Do

For the past few weeks, I'm doing yoga poses every time I have one. Yoga is very essential in my life actually. It redeems the focus I need for the entire day. I actually reflect also on it. It started few months ago when I lost my focus-- focus on everything. I feel like crap whenever I get lost and I don't know what to do. My courses in college (Psychology and Biology) requires in depth understanding of processes and analyzations which I know I could somehow get from Yoga. Here are some shots I had when I was doing it. hahaha :))

with a bun and black sando, I think they are a perfect combination for my attire!

I like wall poses :) hahaha it actually makes me feel like an "achieve" of some intermediate yoga poses :))

Do you think I could achieve being at 50kgs? hahaha :)) I hope so! <3


<3,
Pau

How time Flies

It's been a long time since I had it fixed. A very long time since I first loved. It was so perfect. Wonderful. Full of hugs and kisses that even roses could be painted white for our Love's purity. It all started with "hi." And considering that I was just an ordinary 17 year old girl from South. All I know is that Love comes unexpectedly and it did for me.

It was awful. 

Terribly painful when I had ended it.

But who would've known that it is your ending? Neither have I.

But after months and months of fixing myself up, having a new hairstyle and fitting in to a new environment, I realized that God has something in stored for me. Something I know that would blow me up when I face it. And that is second chance.

I promised Mom that I would finish my degrees first before I let someone in my life again... And this someone is special. But how and what if he comes early? What if I can't take it anymore? What if I mess things up again? What if I fall in love once again?

One thing I am sure of, and that is God's perfect timing.

To my future McDreamy, I promise to be the better Paula anyone could ever known. 

I might be bad way back but I promise that when the right time comes, I know I'm perfect for you. ❤️

Past to Present

To the guy who loved me, but I didn't love back,

I might be the one you need,

But not the one, there's many-- we were just kids.

I might be the most beautiful girl you met,

But not the one God has set.

i might be the love of your life,

But for sure not your future wife.

I am sure, There's someone better.

And she'll come sooner

To the guy I loved, you were my first romace.

That love and hug had its balance,

But it pushed me in letting you go. 

Why? You asked and I realized, I must first learn to dance.

Dance to love myself first, so I could finally say " I love you no more."

I loved you. You were my everything.

You were nothing but my everlasting.

But I must let you go, let you fly high

So I kissed you goodbye.

To the guy I am in love with, you don't know how long I've been waiting for you.

To feel the love that I miss and I want to share with.

From that Love I had gone through that was due,

I can see great path of happiness and tender in your eyes.

Coz the heartbreak has ended.

And a new beginning which is where we are headed. 

Be with you

The way you hold my hand
and your warm embrace,
I see the sea in your eyes and
pure love on your face.


Missing you, wanting to be with you,
To feel your tightest hug,
and warmth of your hand.


I long to see you,
dear someone.
To be your forever is I want.
Fear may have held me back,
but every time I see you,
I see us,


With the tender moonlight,
let me hear your sweet voice,
In the rain, whenever it will,
I promise to hold you tight.


Forever may be a word,
but for me it is you.
Never will I leave,
dear someone,
take me to eternity
where me and you
equals us.