Followed

Dreams. In Psychology dreams reflect our subconscious mind--the person who we really are. Last night, I had a dream about a guy named Drew-- not his real name. Drew and I have a past. Actually, it's not what we call boyfriend- girlfriend relationship. Like Louie's we had a (M.U.)Mutual Understanding relationship.

Before I continue elaborating what my dream was, I would introduce first the story how we begun.
So this what happened.
Three years after my heartbroken incident with Louie, I decided to accept everything and forgive what he has done.
Currently in my freshman year in De La Salle, I met a lot of people but no one caught my attention.
Yes, I have admirers but almost all of them are the same.
But the one who did not courted me (legally), has had this part of me that was a positive strong feeling.
I don't know how to describe it but the feeling was just so right and so tender.
Drew Brenon is his whole name. I remember he was a member of our high school's student publication. I was a Junior when I first saw him. He's a Senior then; also the cousin of my batchmate, Frances Brenon.


We had good times. It started last August 2011, when we had our very first informal conversation. He's in California now and having a good recording part time job. Yeah. I guess this is another long distance thing again. If it would most likely have between us. Drew and I lasted for 6 wonderful months. We try to have something between us like keeping in touch always, but I guess the timezone had been so cruel to us. I admit that I had one of the best Christmas and New Year with him. Yes. I was so happy chatting with him till the last 5 mins of midnight of December 24th. welcoming Christmas has been so great and very nostalgic. Furthermore, welcoming 2012 has also a night to remember. I was with him till 4'oclock in the morning (PH time) and to them 12 midnight of January 1.

The happiness I have with him didn't last for too long. Months by months it became more difficult. I had to wake up at 5am just to chat with him. I remember when I was about to have my very first NSTP CWTS. It was a very breezy Saturday morning. The sun was about to rise and then I went online after I did my morning routine. He buzzed me on Yahoo! Messenger. Yes. I was so kilig :") My NSTP CWTS was scheduled at 8am so I still have 3 hours to get myself prepared.

We chatted till 6:30am and yes I haven't had my bath during that moment. :)) and my friend, Jem would be at McDo Times at 7am to meet up with me coz we'll be heading to La Salle together. After I took a bath, I went offline. i told him that i'll be chatting with him via SMS (Yahoo!) then so he gave me a hug and kiss emoticon :")
Yes. Up untill being on the bus with Jem, I still had a lot of stories to tell her. And while I was chatting with Jem, I was also talking with Drew :") Jem didn't mind our talk. She instead joined me in thinking of some replies to him :)
Our NSTP CWTS was venued at Valenzuela. We would have a 2 and a half an hour trip going to the location. And yes, till I got home from the NSTP CWTS i was still chatting with him :)
Also during that day was my bestie, Avegail's debut. On my way home I went to the Salon to have my hair done. So it happened and my parents picked me up there and drop me in the party venue. Then I was so happy during that night. After going to my bestie's 18th birthday, I went home. Then Drew waited for me for hours coz we'll be having our Skype call that night. in California it was around 2am and while here in the Philippines it was 10pm. After that so semi-awkward conversation with him, I feel so happy again. I can't sleep, coz having that guy on your mind would make you stay awake instead of dreaming. I love the way we took care of each other. but I guess I should end it.

During the day after The Valentine's, I discovered that he is already committed with a Filipina. They were like almost a year and it made my hopes fade. i admit that I got hurt. But it is not as much as pain as to what happened between me and Louie. Some of my friends told me that because it didn't hurt that much because i didn't gave my whole heart. I guess that's the how we ended.

----the dream----

3 months after I stop talking to him, I dreamed of him. I was at home when my cousin Jay arrived and he's with Drew. I was in the Living room making my scrapbook designs. And Jay went to my brother's room to get something and Drew left in the kitchen area to grab some water to drink. As he open the fridge, I packed my things and get ready to transfer immediately to my room. But before going there, I should pass by the dinning-kitchen area hallway. And yah, I should be able to pass by Drew before he'll close the fridge.

Then I didn't waste any seconds, I gathered all my things and walk normally towards the hallway entrance. After that as I am about to turn right, Drew closes the fridge. Then he saw me. We had an eye-to-eye contact. I saw him again. Then I didn't stare any longer and I hurry up going to my room.

As I reach the room, I closed it. Locked it. the I suddenly cried. I know that it is weird but I was feeling the tears falling down my cheeks and as I wipe it, I could feel the tears on my hands. Then I wake up.

I wake up having tears on my cheeks. Then I prayed to God for guidance and wisdom.