Being blind in love was not a mistake.
It’s what you’ve chose from the start
On what you would be.
When Jacky told me the inappropriate things he was doing in Facebook, that time the happiness I’m having on the beach was then replaced by a sudden fall of tears.
As I arrived home, I ran instantly in the nearest computer shop in our street.
Jacky isn’t lying. The truth is on screen.
I was then calm. However in the inside, I’m crying loud enough to shout the anger I’m feeling inside.
I didn’t cry too much. I was just in the sofa, sitting.
And reflect some memories.
He once had said that he loves me. But the things he was showing before wasn’t enough for me to believe in.
I’m hard to get but easy to fall.
Was the things he told me before wasn’t a ‘mistake’ to him?
Was he damn lonely and eager to have someone comforting him whenever he has problems?
Is this my consequence on loving too much?
Am I worthy to have this?
If he isn’t for me, then why am I feeling that I am?
If he deserves my love, then why I got hurt?
If he is the right one for me then why at the end I was left alone?
I’m asking myself if in all the thousand words I’ve said, is there even one meant anything for you?
Have I fulfilled my mission in making you happy even just for a while? Or this is just the start of the consequence I have to face?
I’m tired… really I am.
I hope I could run, run far away from you.
But running too distantly is making me miss you more.
That’s why in that run… I sudden look back.
Maybe in that way, the one hurting who’s hurting me was I.
I want to cry even more and louder. But there’s no tears have shed.
In this very moment, I called Jacky to have someone comforting me.
She answered me and said “This happens for a reason. Once the start entered, it goes until the end of the finish line. Be ready to sacrifice when you’re in love. Coz there’s no GAIN if there’s no PAIN.
I told her why there’s no tears falling, though my voice signifies that I’m about to cry.
She said “If a guy is not worth of crying, maybe the angels are pulling back the tears in your eyes. Coz that tears of yours is precious. “
As I arrived here in Manila, the first song played in our car’s radio was the song by Secondhand Serenade, Your Call.
On how John tabbed the guitar’s string…it breaks me into pieces.
Because that song made me remember him again
The lyrics sung are the words I wanted him to tell me.
But I have to accept the truth that it will never happen.
After months of being blinded by the truth, an event came and made me realize more that he is not worth it.
I did exchange my supportive friend because of that guy.
Instead of going back for a hundredth time,
I stand by a restaurant with this guy and almost forgot that I have a friend waiting for me in the next lot.
Urgghh. I want this to end.
Please, let me move on. I had you, but I lost you.
So what do you want? Please, don’t add some lies on your sins.
The real reason that I’m over you is because now I see who you really are.
Can I just continue my life alone?
I don’t need someone to help me out.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Though wanting to PM you on YM, I’m forcing myself not to.
Because I want to forget the guy who once made me feel UNIMPORTANT and STUPID at the end.
Let this affection fade. Let this pain end.
Let this heart stops beating for him.
Let me be take a step away from tears,
really I could hardly breathe.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
